|don't try to resurrect this
||[Jul. 28th, 2006|03:29 pm]
lethargy, madness and stale apple pie.|
i fell in love with you in silence.
we do nothing but kid each other, stain the sheets and justify ourselves
with pathology and excuses. you keep taking pills to forget.
when you were choking out sobs and blowing powder out your nose
i tried hard not to laugh, because you promised you would
make your mother proud, and i wonder what she's thinking now.
she believed i could take care of you.
lie to me. i love it when it hurts to breathe.
so much sin and self-affliction, i want to fall into bursts
of electrocution and expose my veins.
you once told me you liked my bitter ideals and deprecation.
don't feign protection, i don't want another idle idol.
i want to discuss politics over a syringe,
philosophize the meaning of life over withdrawl.
i want to be raw and redundant--
fuck you hard on Easter Sunday on a pile of Bibles wearing the Cross.
is there productivity behind the pew?
i drank the blood of christ and found God drowning in the entrails.
i believe, okay.
but i was never saved, and i know
there is truth staggering drunkenly down the stairs,
staining sidewalks with piss
and discovering a self behind the tainted illusion of doubt
so carefully woven between thighs and dancing through kaleidescopes.
don't ask me for help. i couldn't possible assist you.
besides, i think you're cute when you're grasping for air.